Saturday, July 14, 2012


I wish I could say I was feeling better, but I'm not.

I feel like a jerk, I have a lot of things and I am safe and I'm lucky I have a pretty secure LIFE. But when you don't feel like you have friends and family that love you, then what do you have??

I really have no right to complain about my life. But is so frustrating to feel awful and not be able to do anything about the things in my life that suck right now.

I feel like I'm constantly waiting. I'm waiting for beginning to get here.Waiting for things to get better, waiting for someone to call..

I'm still foolishly checking my phone to see if he calls. I don't know why. I don't want to be with him anymore. But I did develop a closeness and some what of a dependency on our connection that its hard to let that go. Especially when I have nothing to replace it.

It feels a little bit like the world is going to hell in a hand basket and there's nothing that I can do to make it any better. Not even my own small part of it.

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