Sunday, July 29, 2012

Oh! The Wedding

One of our church members invited us THE TENTMAKERS (will post about TM soon-pinky promise) on their special day Kat & Anderson's Wedding. I am the veil bearer and they want me to sing a special song for them LORD I OFFER MY LIFE the song is easy to sing and can be sung with low notes. I asked my friend Gary to play the guitar for me because I want it on acoustic version. So we practiced like half day and inside the car while were driving from Abu dhabi to Al sharjah United Arab Emirates (the wedding area) then that's it, Trying to convince ourselves that we are ready. Upon arrival everyone's busy fitting their clothes and preparing for each individual part. While me, waiting for a miracle and says Hey! Can anyone help me…And Gary's chasing me- telling me that he's nervous. Yeah share it with me Gary. I feel it too, sniff*. And so after the nerve cracking isle walk, pinning of the Bride's veil. The officiating Pastor calls for a SPECIAL SONG NUMBER to be rendered by yeah sing with me. And it was terrible, I feel awful, I can’t even open my mouth, Gary started with wrong note. So I went ______________________ yes blank. But still the show must go on. I want to cast a spell (A spell to forget) to all the guests, especially to the newlywed.

whistling in the rain
(my attire during the wedding)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012


A migraine is a common type of headache that may occur with symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, or sensitivity to light. In many people, a throbbing pain is felt only on one side of the head.
Some people who get migraines have warning symptoms, called an aura, before the actual headache begins. An aura is a group of symptoms, including vision disturbances that are a warning sign that a bad headache is coming.
Causes, incidence, and risk factors
 A migraine is caused by abnormal brain activity, which can be triggered by a number of factors. However, the exact chain of events remains unclear. Today, most medical experts believe the attack begins in the brain, and involves nerve pathways and chemicals. The changes affect blood flow in the brain and surrounding tissues.
Alcohol, stress and anxiety, certain odors or perfumes, loud noises or bright lights, and smoking may trigger a migraine.
 Migraine attacks may also be triggered by:
·         Caffeine withdrawal
·         Changes in hormone levels during a woman's menstrual cycle or with the use of birth control pills
·         Changes in sleep patterns
·         Exercise or other physical stress
·         Missed meals
·         Smoking or exposure to smoke
Migraine headaches can be triggered by certain foods. The most common are:
·         Any processed, fermented, pickled, or marinated foods, as well as foods that contain monosodium glutamate (MSG)
·         Baked goods, chocolate, nuts, peanut butter, and dairy products
·         Foods containing tyramine, which includes red wine, aged cheese, smoked fish, chicken livers, figs, and certain beans
·         Fruits (avocado, banana, citrus fruit)
·         Meats containing nitrates (bacon, hot dogs, salami, cured meats)
·         Onions
This list may not include all triggers.
Vision disturbances, or aura, are considered a "warning sign" that a migraine is coming. The aura occurs in both eyes and may involve any or all of the following:
·         A temporary blind spot
·         Blurred vision
·         Eye pain
·         Seeing stars or zigzag lines
·         Tunnel vision
Other warning signs include yawning, difficulty concentrating, nausea, and trouble finding the right words.
Not every person with migraines has an aura. Those who do usually develop one about 10 - 15 minutes before the headache. However, an aura may occur just a few minutes to 24 hours beforehand. A headache may not always follow an aura.
Migraine headaches can be dull or severe. The pain may be felt behind the eye or in the back of the head and neck. For many patients, the headaches start on the same side each time. The headaches usually:
·         Feel throbbing, pounding, or pulsating
·         Are worse on one side of the head
·         Start as a dull ache and get worse within minutes to hours
·         Last 6 to 48 hours
Other symptoms that may occur with the headache include:
·         Chills
·         Increased urination
·         Fatigue
·         Loss of appetite
·         Nausea and vomiting
·         Numbness, tingling, or weakness
·         Problems concentrating, trouble finding words
·         Sensitivity to light or sound
·         Sweating
Symptoms may linger even after the migraine has gone away. Patients with migraine sometimes call this a migraine "hangover." Symptoms can include:
·         Feeling mentally dull, like you’re thinking is not clear or sharp
·         Increased need for sleep
·         Neck pain
Reviews from PubMeD HEALTH

You might wonder why I’m posting this article so here’s the story, (but Oh! I can’t even type write now- I’m experiencing “hangover” from previous attack) so this is quick. Though, I have visual impairment since grade school so I assumed that this throbbing, sometimes pulsating pain I’m experiencing for couple of years now is due to advance mild to severe vision loss. But the pain lasts only for 30 minutes for two to three times a week before then dwindles when I get enough sleep and new corrected lenses. But this year it caught my attention because the attacks were progressing, start as a typical dull headache and get worse within minutes to hours (6 hours), the pain is excruciating and piercing down to my ears and jaws “imagine that” and all the signs and symptoms mentioned above especially this “temporary blind spot” that last for about half an hour, a strange sensation and is pretty intense after extreme work out or simply climbing stairs.
Last Monday due to horrible pain they rush me to Emergency room and injected Diclofenac Sodium. The GP’s principal diagnosis is CLASSIC MIGRAINE.
Read this: People with classic migraines experience an aura before their headaches. Most often, an aura is a visual disturbance (outlines of lights or jagged light images). Classic migraines are usually much more severe than common migraines. 
 Have you had your eyes checked lately or do you get migraines? Has anything different been going on? Stress can also do funny things to you or I might say serious things to you. I hope this helped you try and figure out what’s going on. If it doesn't clear up I would definitely go and see a doctor.

Pray for smooth recovery. God Bless us all <3


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Noticing me

I’m singing and now I am so nervous, anxious, concerned or whatever word to describe, name it. It’s not because about holding microphone, facing public… but it’s the anxiety that this time it will not happen again. I hate changes! Well no choice it’s inevitable.

Monday, July 16, 2012


I have lot of things in my mind and emotions deep within..but I cant...I just cant...oh sighs :( sappy day

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Message From My Heart

Message From My Heart

I don't work for free, please take care of me...

I'm currently listening to this song and caught up with that line and (smile sweetly while clicking new post) yes! Blogging while working in the office, the price you get when you don't have pending and lots of work... Lucky-bee :) well I promise to myself not to write any without finalizing and completing my blog site but I can't help it, so please bear with me this is temporary.

Us girls, let's admit it that we are emotional, I mean for me small things matters, but it's different from this making big issues of minor issues of disagreement really. (Hands up! I will not argue)
Like this for example “Yes! I promise the moment I will reach home, I will inform you" and then you waited like light years but receive nothing. Oh and oh... 
For all of you to understand and feel more...sing with me.

Don't break me, I bruise easily
The source of both your love and misery

I am steady, beating endlessly
While you are dozing, dreaming pretty things
Lovely things

I don't work for free
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Don't hurt me, I bleed constantly
My efforts leave me but flow back swiftly
My rhythm, soothing, like raindrops steady

On foggy windows when you gaze outwardly

I don't work for free
Please take care of me
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Everytime you sleep
Everytime you eat
Everytime you laugh
 you cry
Every time you love

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Thank you Kina for this beautiful song...


I'm having this issue with food lately. I just can't eat much. It's weird. My eyes are way more hungry that what the rest of me is and I feel bad for wasting food. My girlfriend made this really great spaghetti last night, and every time I've gone to eat it I've only been able to eat half of what I dish for myself, less than even. And I can't do anything with it now because it's been reheated so it'll just go in the bin and that makes me feel bad. And I'm going to say this knowing that I'll hear about how silly it is in about half an hour when I finish this and someone reads it. But what the hell. It's probably a good thing anyway. I eat so much crap, and I definitely have lately with all the whirlwind trips and eating out and eating take out. And I feel fat. There, I said it. Not fat fat because I know that that's crazy. I guess I just feel yuk and unhealthy, and basically just like a normal girl. Cue **** telling me that I'm not fat, whatever just the way I am, but sometimes I just don't feel it, and now is one of those times. I want to kick my ass into gear and get fit and get rid of the pudgy little tummy and tone it all up and all that. So I guess what I'm saying is that I should embrace the not having a very big appetite. But then again, I should also stop eating a whole lot of crap, because that's what's happening. Yes, says I who has an open can of Coke and an empty packet of salt and vinegar chips lying around. Ugh, why does bad food have to taste so damn good?


Can you see me? My stride has you paralyzed, I know. I am your mystery. You can never have a piece of me. The way I collide into the shadows, the way my swagger goes from one to another. I am your chameleon, the diva in your masquerade.
Run from me if you must. I know I'm a little much. My words caress your soul and wrap around your mind. I leave you restless with the moonshine, believe me I realize this. I cast spells upon spells, sinking deeper into your veins... Can't you feel me pulse?My voice smooth and suculent, sultry and distinct. I whisper for you in your sleep. Can you hear me hum your name?My eyes are dark and deep. Written pages couldn't even tell you the things I have seen. I know you wish you knew me. A fantasy most people dare to dream, but I'm sorry... You can just take a seat right there.There is fury in me. I burn at the roots. I can engulf you, please you and set you free. I can be your addiction. A sweet fixation. I can give you all of everything you need. Let me be your air. Let me be your thoughts. I want to mold you into my own. Can you feel me slide into you?I am concentrated on more than you. I'm involved in everything you do. What fun is a game with no cat and mouse play? With my passions seeping into your core, I just smile with my avengence untold. Can you feel my rapture?I bet you think you know me. You get the sly in my character. The boost in my esteem. But what you will never know, is that I am always unseen.


I wish I could say I was feeling better, but I'm not.

I feel like a jerk, I have a lot of things and I am safe and I'm lucky I have a pretty secure LIFE. But when you don't feel like you have friends and family that love you, then what do you have??

I really have no right to complain about my life. But is so frustrating to feel awful and not be able to do anything about the things in my life that suck right now.

I feel like I'm constantly waiting. I'm waiting for beginning to get here.Waiting for things to get better, waiting for someone to call..

I'm still foolishly checking my phone to see if he calls. I don't know why. I don't want to be with him anymore. But I did develop a closeness and some what of a dependency on our connection that its hard to let that go. Especially when I have nothing to replace it.

It feels a little bit like the world is going to hell in a hand basket and there's nothing that I can do to make it any better. Not even my own small part of it.

Her Story

She would laugh but would not think it funny. She would smile but feel no joy or happiness. She merely exists. She is a little lost girl in a world that is huge and cruel. Sorrow, Pain, and Worthlessness are her constant companions. She ran away from them once before, and was rid of them for sometime. During that time she saw blue skies, had emotions like that of a human, and learned to love again. But then one day she tasted bitterness with the death of a beloved friend. She went to the wake and was found by Sorrow, Pain, and Worthlessness. They left with her and came home with her and have not left her alone since. This girl is trying to fight them off, but she is too overwhelmed. And she does not remember how she got away from them in the first place. So now this girl sits out in the cold rain with the blanket of gloom covering the sky, as the winds of misery cut right through her. This girl searches for the once warm joy filled memory, but it is how cold and fading ever so quickly. With the passing of time, the girl becomes slower with what seems like hundreds of years. Ancient is the all she knows how to feel with the knowledge that she is not as old as she feels. Or, she wonders- Is this what hell is like? So she will continue on and will exist with no question as to when her end is near.