Message From My Heart

Message From My Heart

I don't work for free, please take care of me...

I'm currently listening to this song and caught up with that line and (smile sweetly while clicking new post) yes! Blogging while working in the office, the price you get when you don't have pending and lots of work... Lucky-bee :) well I promise to myself not to write any without finalizing and completing my blog site but I can't help it, so please bear with me this is temporary.

Us girls, let's admit it that we are emotional, I mean for me small things matters, but it's different from this making big issues of minor issues of disagreement really. (Hands up! I will not argue)

Like this for example “Yes! I promise the moment I will reach home, I will inform you" and then you waited like light years but receive nothing. Oh and oh... 

For all of you to understand and feel more...sing with me.

Don't break me, I bruise easily
The source of both your love and misery

I am steady, beating endlessly
While you are dozing, dreaming pretty things
Lovely things

I don't work for free
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Don't hurt me, I bleed constantly
My efforts leave me but flow back swiftly
My rhythm, soothing, like raindrops steady
On foggy windows when you gaze outwardly
Peacefully

I don't work for free
Please take care of me
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Everytime you sleep
Everytime you eat
Everytime you laugh
Everytime you cry
Every time you love

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Thank you Kina for this beautiful song...

yawn

I'm having this issue with food lately. I just can't eat much. It's weird. My eyes are way more hungry that what the rest of me is and I feel bad for wasting food. My girlfriend made this really great spaghetti last night, and every time I've gone to eat it I've only been able to eat half of what I dish for myself, less than even. And I can't do anything with it now because it's been reheated so it'll just go in the bin and that makes me feel bad. And I'm going to say this knowing that I'll hear about how silly it is in about half an hour when I finish this and someone reads it. But what the hell. It's probably a good thing anyway. I eat so much crap, and I definitely have lately with all the whirlwind trips and eating out and eating take out. And I feel fat. There, I said it. Not fat fat because I know that that's crazy. I guess I just feel yuk and unhealthy, and basically just like a normal girl. Cue **** telling me that I'm not fat, whatever just the way I am, but sometimes I just don't feel it, and now is one of those times. I want to kick my ass into gear and get fit and get rid of the pudgy little tummy and tone it all up and all that. So I guess what I'm saying is that I should embrace the not having a very big appetite. But then again, I should also stop eating a whole lot of crap, because that's what's happening. Yes, says I who has an open can of Coke and an empty packet of salt and vinegar chips lying around. Ugh, why does bad food have to taste so damn good?

UNSEEN

Can you see me? My stride has you paralyzed, I know. I am your mystery. You can never have a piece of me. The way I collide into the shadows, the way my swagger goes from one to another. I am your chameleon, the diva in your masquerade.

Run from me if you must. I know I'm a little much. My words caress your soul and wrap around your mind. I leave you restless with the moonshine, believe me I realize this. I cast spells upon spells, sinking deeper into your veins... Can't you feel me pulse?My voice smooth and suculent, sultry and distinct. I whisper for you in your sleep. Can you hear me hum your name?My eyes are dark and deep. Written pages couldn't even tell you the things I have seen. I know you wish you knew me. A fantasy most people dare to dream, but I'm sorry... You can just take a seat right there.There is fury in me. I burn at the roots. I can engulf you, please you and set you free. I can be your addiction. A sweet fixation. I can give you all of everything you need. Let me be your air. Let me be your thoughts. I want to mold you into my own. Can you feel me slide into you?I am concentrated on more than you. I'm involved in everything you do. What fun is a game with no cat and mouse play? With my passions seeping into your core, I just smile with my avengence untold. Can you feel my rapture?I bet you think you know me. You get the sly in my character. The boost in my esteem. But what you will never know, is that I am always unseen.

Stop

I wish I could say I was feeling better, but I'm not.

I feel like a jerk, I have a lot of things and I am safe and I'm lucky I have a pretty secure LIFE. But when you don't feel like you have friends and family that love you, then what do you have??

I really have no right to complain about my life. But is so frustrating to feel awful and not be able to do anything about the things in my life that suck right now.

I feel like I'm constantly waiting. I'm waiting for beginning to get here.Waiting for things to get better, waiting for someone to call..

I'm still foolishly checking my phone to see if he calls. I don't know why. I don't want to be with him anymore. But I did develop a closeness and some what of a dependency on our connection that its hard to let that go. Especially when I have nothing to replace it.

It feels a little bit like the world is going to hell in a hand basket and there's nothing that I can do to make it any better. Not even my own small part of it.

Her Story

She would laugh but would not think it funny. She would smile but feel no joy or happiness. She merely exists. She is a little lost girl in a world that is huge and cruel. Sorrow, Pain, and Worthlessness are her constant companions. She ran away from them once before, and was rid of them for sometime. During that time she saw blue skies, had emotions like that of a human, and learned to love again. But then one day she tasted bitterness with the death of a beloved friend. She went to the wake and was found by Sorrow, Pain, and Worthlessness. They left with her and came home with her and have not left her alone since. This girl is trying to fight them off, but she is too overwhelmed. And she does not remember how she got away from them in the first place. So now this girl sits out in the cold rain with the blanket of gloom covering the sky, as the winds of misery cut right through her. This girl searches for the once warm joy filled memory, but it is how cold and fading ever so quickly. With the passing of time, the girl becomes slower with what seems like hundreds of years. Ancient is the all she knows how to feel with the knowledge that she is not as old as she feels. Or, she wonders- Is this what hell is like? So she will continue on and will exist with no question as to when her end is near.